catharsis

"What do you know of Love except the name?
Love has a hundred forms of pride and disdain,
and is gained by a hundred means of persuasion.
Since Love is loyal, it purchases one who is loyal:
it has no interest in a disloyal companion." --rumi

the first letter:

"Detik pertemuan membawa sinar harapan, pertemuan ini juga telah membuatkan aku lupa akan masa silan ku. Pintu hati ku kau buka selepas pertemuan kedua kalinya. Dakapan mesra kau, membawa seribu rahmat pada ku. Apakah aku sudah dibuai suatu perasaan yang boleh membawa kebahagian selamanya?. "

how do u expect me
to trust you
when you are not honest with yourself?

i detached myself
from the world
for you
and did everything
you wanted me to

you are
after all
my soulmate. always.

you are perfect. in my eyes.

except that one promise that i could not keep

i blamed
myself
i felt so punished. so humbled by the experience.

i won't drown in my own cynicism
but
i wonder if there is any purpose to my being anymore?

god may have answered my questions
but it left
a gaping void in my heart.

i am nothing.

"but you have to live, f"

"you have to put yourself first"

i simply do not know how to ...

i failed.